| Unwanted
Unloved
Untrue
Perhaps. Sure doesn't feel that way.
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| PKT Semi was fun. The dinner was pretty good, and of course the decorations were classy. We went to Boston Improv, an Improv Comedy place in Central Square (right by CCFC... i love how those things just seem to happen...). Overall it was a pretty good night, lots of laughs, good conversation.
I've just been thinking a lot about what I'm doing to do next semester... with the rest of my life. When I realized that despite me dropping the ball, at least at MIT things will be picked up by someone else and they will get completed...I realize that there is less urgency and that doing things in the grand scheme of things don't matter.
Yeah, I was stressing out more about but now I'm a bit more at peace with it. even though I still don't know where I'm going from here...
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| So I've been reflecting upon a lot of what God's been doing in my life these past few weeks. Letting go of things left and right, being disappointed and happily surprised. Dropping old things and adding new ones....my whole life is turning upsidedown (a real 180, i suppose), and finding myself with a ridiculous amount of unplanned time that I don't know how to use.
I guess I feel like God has been setting me up for something, and clearly he is working actively to clear my schedule for the upcoming year...and sometimes I wonder what God is thinking and scheming and I want to know why he's changing so much of my life...
...But I suppose I'm just going to have to take a step of faith with this one, and trust that God will present himself at the most appropriate time and trust that he's looking out for me and that he's got a plan for me. It really requires a step of faith.. not knowing what's next, [in the next week or the next few years]..
As I've talked to a staffworker, one thing I realize is that I don't need to figure everything out RIGHT NOW. It was brought to my attention that MIT often pressures us to figure out what we're doing with our lives by the time we're 22. Really? I suppose I've been so used to having goals and needing to accomplish them at soon as possible... it really made me realize that yeah I have lofty goals but I don't need to accomplish them by the time I'm 22. And that it's okay to focus on what God is calling me to do at this moment rather than 3 years down the road.
Also, when I talked to my academic advisor yesterday, she brought up a few good points.
if I don't have my spiritual life together, everything else will fall apart. this probably explains why I was able to survive and thrive with 6 classes, Panhel, and CGL-ing last semester. I kept a consistent time in my life every week dedicated to the word/God/fellowship everything and all that jazz... and because I made that my priority everything else seemed to fall in place. And she really encouraged me to spend time with the word every day....she in fact challenged me to do so. I really do agree that keeping God at the center of my life will bring peace and solace in everything else around me.
so yeah, step of faith.
so what's the next step?
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| ...Goodbye Course 6
...Hello Course 9! [finally!]
so much change in these past few weeks.... crazy.
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| Next time you try to guilt me and tell me you're disappointed in me...
why don't YOU take my 6.002 exam and stay in lab for the hours I do...
then you can tell me you're disappointed me.
elsewise, stfu.
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